I'm Not In Love
by LucklessLove
Summary: What's the cost for a life? Ten years after Alice's life is saved, she is about to come face to face with her savior who wants to discuss the debt she owes. Whoever said life was priceless lied.. Alice HUM. J/A pairing.
1. Scream

_**AN **Hello!! I'm back again, and with a different story. I know i left everyone hanging with You Picked Me but i just got bored and uninspired, which is weird.. But i thought i would try this out. Its just a prologue to test the waters and see if anyone's interested in it. _

_**Disclaimer** I do not own Twilight nor the characters and the title of the story belongs to the artist Olive - i love her songs! And BoA owns the lyrics I used in the story (you'll notice them b/c they're the only words inside quotation marks!) This story idea belongs to me.. thats about it. _

_Please leave me reviews!! It's all welcome, both the love and the hate. As are questions or concerns. _

_Enjoy my loves!!! _

**Music: _BoA - Scream_**

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_**prologue**_

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When I was seven, I watched my mother get brutally mauled by a vampire. I watched as her limbs were ripped from her body and thrown across the park like they were twigs, her blood having been drained long before the disembodiment. I had been cowering behind a bench when he had flurried over to me, his sickening breath hitting my face while he laughed at me. I had stared wide-eyed up into the glowing red eyes. I remember how his fangs protruded out of his perfectly shaped lips, and how I held my breath in fear that it would be my last. The angelic features of his face were a cruel mask for the ugly truth of what he really was. My mother always told me that angels protected us, watching and guiding us as we lived. That _THING_ that had stared hungrily at me was no angel. My faith disappeared that night along with the idea that anyone was looking over me to protect me.

I remember how he had cocked his head to the side, inclining it towards me as he breathily spoke his last words into my ear,_ "You scream, but there's nobody to hear. It doesn't matter. It's only you and me and all of your fears. So scream."_ But I didn't, I couldn't, because I didn't care anymore. There was nothing left for me to do, so instead I closed my eyes and waited for the darkness. His teeth had barely sunken into the skin of my wrist before they were ripped out. What I hadn't been expecting was to hear the sound of my attacker crying out in pain.

His voice faded within a heartbeat and by the time I braved myself to open my eyes, the smell of smoke had already made its way to my nose. A few feet away stood a shadowed figure looming over a now burning trashcan. The smell of burning flesh hit my nostrils and forced the contents of my stomach to resurface. Even after my vomiting had ceased, I still couldn't find the strength to lift my head. I had spent a moment listening to the silence, figuring whomever had previously saved me was long gone by now.

I was shocked when I felt an unusually cold hand at the nape of my neck, its frigid temperature calming my heated skin and easing the pain I had been feeling in my throat. I knew it was another one of _THEM_, those vampires. They were the only ones strong enough to be able to physically rip someone apart. It also explained the unnaturally cold hand that was trying to, oddly, comfort me.

My back went rigid though at the gesture and the sound of the whimper that escaped from my mouth still rings in my ears today. The previous events had finally caught up to me and caused my body to uncontrollably shake. I had lifted my hands to my head, threading my fingers through my already disgruntled black hair to pull at the roots. My eyes had been wide with panic as I stared down at my own blood on my shoes, my wrist having bled down my arm and staining them. I couldn't understand why I was still alive, why the new person hadn't begun to feed off of me like the other one had intended to do.

I felt the panic of death flood back over me as I felt my bleeding wrist being lifted up, lips covering the wound that had been beginning to burn from the venom of my previous attacker. My eyes closed, I didn't want to accidentally look at the persons face before I died. Only, what I didn't realize was that I wasn't dying. It took a whole minute before I realized the lips weren't sucking the _LIFE_ out of me, but rather the poison that was infecting my veins. The procedure was fast and before I knew it my wrist was being gently placed onto my knee, the other hand had been resting at the nape of my neck the whole time.

It had surprised me when I felt the hand trail slowly away from me as the person went from kneeling to slowly lifting into a standing position, like they was scared that I would break if they moved too fast. I hadn't said anything nor looked up to see the face of who ever it was standing in front of me. But I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to look at the face of another killer. I just wanted it all to end already.

To further my surprise, I heard the crunching of leaves and realized the person was leaving, no words having been exchanged through the whole event.

My life had been spared, but at what cost was beyond me.

I listened to the footsteps until all I could hear was my own heart beating in my ears, its pace slow and hard against my eardrum. It was the sound of loneliness.

That night was the beginning of my ruined life. For years I have been plagued by that night, my mother's dead eyes carved into my mind. And for a long time I had wondered about the reasons behind my savior's intentions. Why I had been allowed to live had been a continuous question I held no answers to. But now, ten years after my mothers death, the answer to what I owe for my life is about to be discussed as I wait on the other side of the door that's about to bring me face to face with the one person who has been faceless in my memories for these past ten years.

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_**Thanks for reading, and i hope it was enjoyable!! Love to all - LL**_


	2. OK

**AN **_So heres chapter 1. Hope it doesn't disappoint. As you can see I'm not following everything to the T with the twilight series. Alice isn't going to have visions while she is human, maybe some deja vu once and a while but thats about it. There's also a lack of the main Cullen family members right now, but they will be presented in time. If you have any questions or concerns let me know. But hopefully this will satisfy you all for now. _

_Shout out to my reviewers! I love you! Thanks for the love =]_

**Disclaimer** _I do not own Twilight nor the characters... This story idea belongs to me.. thats about it._

**Music** _MuteMath - OK_

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**OK**

Standing outside, her body facing the tall cherry wood door that led to the massive house that impressed her at first sight, Alice watched and waited, rather impatiently, as the social worker, Ms. Smith, rapped her knuckles against the thick door frame. For the past ten years Alice had spent her time between homes and therapy sessions. She'd been diagnosed as mentally unstable by multiple doctors by age ten and had lived in over four different "homes" in the past seven years.

When the old social worker came to her months ago explaining how a family with the last name Cullen would be officially adopting her, she had brushed it off as just another home she'd play 'house' with for the next three months before they decided she wasn't the perfect child they thought they would be getting. Like so many times before, Alice just accepted the news with a shrug of her shoulders. But as she stood outside the massive home, she had an eerie feeling in the pit of her stomach that things wouldn't be the same this time around.

Alice had done her research on the Cullen family the night before her flight to Forks, her new hometown. She was surprised by the vague information she had found on the family, most topics discussing Mr. Cullen's medical practice and how he and his wife were advocates of adoption, having two adopted children of their own and housing a pair of siblings. The truth was, they seemed peachy enough for Alice to not worry about living with them so much, but still, as she stood in front of her new home, she couldn't help the way her heart seemed to get increasingly louder in her ears.

Within a moment, the door was opened and a soft motherly face greeted both Alice and Ms. Smith. She had long light brown hair with warm topaz eyes, her smile nearly as blinding as her perfect complexion. The woman automatically pulled Alice into a loving hug and squeezed her gently. "Welcome to your new home Alice! My name is Esme! Oh you're just as beautiful as your picture! Please, come in, come in." She pulled Alice to her side and wrapped an arm comfortingly around her back so that a dainty hand lay on top of Alice's shoulder.

Alice looked back over her shoulder to the social worker and gave the woman a pleading look. Her gut was telling her that this wasn't right, that something bad was about to happen, and a sense of déjà vu over came her.

"You'll be fine Alice, I'll check up with you next week. And please, behave yourself!" The social worker gave Alice a pointed look before giving her goodbye to Esme and shutting the door behind her.

Esme squeezed Alice's shoulder and led her into a large living room where a man in his late thirties stood up from his position on an overly stuffed couch. "It's been a long time Alice. My name is Carlisle." Carlisle's handsome face stretched into a heart-warming smile. The way he had greeted her, as if they were familiar with each other in the past, did nothing to ease Alice's frantic mind as she plucked at her brain for reasons as to why she felt the uneasiness that she did, in fact, know him from somewhere. "I have some things I need to discuss with you, and I think you should sit down for it."

"Here sit next to Jasper," Esme offered, her arm leading Alice over to the tall blonde boy sitting on the only love seat in the whole room.

Alice let her eyes soak in the features of Jasper's face, from his unruly blond hair to the strong jaw that seemed to tense up as she neared him. His eyes were large and round, giving him a frightened look. Strangely, they were topaz like the other family members eyes, which seemed fairly strange sense there was no blood relation between anyone in the house.

His posture stiffened as she finally made it in front of him, turning to sit as far from him as the couch would allow. Alice felt her heart rate quicken and she uneasily gripped at the sleeves of her black shirt. She roamed her eyes between the multiple faces, noticing that their beauty surpassed anything she had ever seen.

"I think I'm confused Mr. Cullen… You said it's been a long time since you last saw me, but from what I can remember, this is the first time I'm meeting you." Alice's voice came out strong, no evidence of her uneasiness leaking through. It was hard not to feel nervous when Jaspers unwavering gaze was burning wholes in the side of her face.

Carlisle looked between his wife and Jasper, hesitating before he answered. "I know what caused the scar on your left wrist Alice."

"Excuse me…?" Alice's voice lost its brave front. It was impossible for him to know about the scar, she thought to herself. She unconsciously rubbed at her wrist and shuddered at the feeling of the slightly raised soft skin, its shape mimicking a pair of teeth.

It was Jaspers turn to shift uncomfortably now, drawing Alice's eyes to the movement. Her gaze wavered between all three faces, tears threatening to spill down her face. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, the silence in the room made her want to stand up and scream. "Well are you going to explain what you mean to me?! Or are we all going to sit here and stare at each other??" Her voice rose to a pitchy note, her panic dripping off of every word.

Carlisle cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You see Alice, we were the ones who, how do I put this, ended things that night."

"We?" Alice repeated. She slowly turned her face to the boy sitting next to her, who's eyes uncomfortably avoided her gaze and was now burning wholes into his own hands that laid awkwardly atop his thighs.

"You see, we were out hunting that night in Washington when Jasper, more or less, caught wind of what was taking place in the park. We were in the woods about a mile off. We're terribly sorry we didn't make it in time to save your mother. We ran as fast as we could. I'm just glad that Jasper managed to pull Laurent off in time."

Alice's eyes allowed the tears to escape as she stood up from her seat next to Jasper. Her head was swimming with the news she was just informed of. Vampires. She had just been adopted into a family of Vampires. And not only that, but they were _THERE_. They had seen what had become of her mother, what had been done to herself. They had spared her life and now they were going to ask her to repay her debt to them. The unreal feeling of the whole situation did nothing to calm the panic running wild in Alice's eyes.

"So what? You're going to kill me now? After ten years. I didn't ask you to do anything. I DIDN'T ASK TO BE SAVED!" She was backing herself away from them, stopping only when she fell backwards onto the short set of steps that led to the next level of the house.

Jasper flew into a standing position, Alice's fear and panic getting the best of him. His body was stiff as stone as he stood there not knowing whether to go and comfort her or not. It was Carlisle's hand that made the decision for him, his elegant fingers held up in a 'stop' gesture. The gesture did nothing to calm Jasper's obvious state of distress, for he was still standing there, staring between Carlisle's hand and Alice's shaking body on the floor.

Carlisle took it upon himself to stand up and walk over to Alice's fallen body. He gently rested a hand on her shoulder, knowing that Jasper was already sending out comforting waves to soothe her. "Please Alice, do not fear us. We are not like the vampire you encountered that night. We are, in our own way, vegetarians. We feed on animal blood, not human blood. I did not bring you into this home to kill you. For the past ten years my family and I have been watching over you from a distance. We had to take responsibility for your life after that night. If we didn't the Volturi would have sought you out themselves and killed you already. You see no humans are allowed to know the truth about our identity for risk of our kind being hunted. It is critical that our secret never be revealed. So I made a compromise with the Volturi. I would make sure you were changed by your eighteenth birthday. It's not a decision I am proud of, but it was vital in order to let you live." Carlisle watched Alice drink in his words. He knew it would be hard for her mind to comprehend what he was explaining to her, but he knew in time she would come to understand his important decision.

"I don't understand… Who are the Volturi? And why would they want me killed? I was seven at the time; even if I did say something no one would believe me. And what are you talking about when you say you promised to 'change' me by my eighteenth birthday?" Her questions came out toppling over one another. She was trying to grasp the situation but she had no idea what he had been talking about.

"The Volturi are the ruling coven over our kind. They enforce the rules and act as head figures during a crisis. And the only reason they would see it necessary to kill you is if they decided you posed a threat to the coven. You were too young to change at the time, and by change I mean… Well I think you know what I mean Alice. And as far as why we chose eighteen is part of the payment plan we've decided on." Carlisle walked back over to Esme and took his previous seat next to her. He gripped his wife's hand and nodded to her, allowing her to continue where he left off.

"Alice dear, we decided to keep you as a mate for Jasper. After you're changed, you'll spend the rest of your days with him." Esme smiled over at her son, who, like Alice, was hearing this information for the first time.

Alice sat there, her face contorted into a look of disbelief. "You're all sick! I can't believe you just expect me to be okay with this! Did you stop to think that maybe I don't want to be anyone's "mate"?! That maybe I just want to be left alone? And you! Sitting there like you had no idea this was about to happen. Don't you have a voice?! Don't you want a say in your own future??" She stood up and stalked over to the gaping Jasper, shoving her index finger into his chest.

Her temper was drastically affecting him at her close proximity and he had to walk around her to the other side of the room to just think. Between the smell of her blood and the raging emotional flares she was having, Jasper was on the verge of a break down.

He shoved his hands in his jean pockets and stared down at his feet.

"You should have discussed this decision with me first Carlisle. I don't see how she needs to have her fate written before she's even changed." His voice was hoarse and light, speaking respectfully.

"I understand your both uncomfortable with this decision, but my word is final. It's been too many years since Maria, Jasper. It's time for you to live again and stop floating through existence. We're only doing this because we love you. Your happiness is important to us, as is Alice's. And your mother and I agree that it will be the right choice. We're giving you both a year to make this work on your own before it's permanent." Jasper's fathers voice was strong and unwavering, no room for any more discussion or argument.

Alice just huffed, folding her arms over her small chest and glaring daggers at the blonde at the opposite end of the room. She was not having it. No matter what they said, she'd find a way out of it. A year was plenty of time. Alice Brandon would NOT go down without a fight.

"We'll leave you two alone for now. Alice darling, dinner will be in an hour or so." Esme stood up from the couch and walked around the coffee table to place her hand on either side of Alice's face, cradling her cheeks in her cold palms. "You'll be happy with us. I just know it. And Jasper is a kind soul. You'll grow to understand this in time."

Alice's strength to fight back dissipated. She no longer had the energy to deal with her life at that moment, so instead of arguing with the kind looking woman, she just nodded her head and allowed fat tears to fall down her cheeks for the hundredth time that evening.

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With Carlisle and Esme off at some other end of the house, it was only Jasper and Alice.

Jasper watched the petite girl move over to sit on the couch, her face falling miserably into her hands. She was so depressed and it only furthered in bringing his own mood down. His full lips turned down into a frown and his eyebrows drew together. He felt the need to comfort her; she seemed so fragile, just as she had that night so many years ago. So with bold steps, Jasper made his way over to her. He heard her sniffle into her hands and felt his dead heart break. He didn't want to be the cause of her distress, but there was no way around it. What his parents said was final.

He heavily sighed, making his presence known, before he slowly, trying not to startle her, sat down beside her, their knees touching lightly. He awkwardly lifted his left hand to rub at her back, hoping the motion would ease her and stop her tears. "You'll be ok Alice. We'll take good care of you. I promise." His voice tried soothing her, but to no avail.

"Just leave me alone. It's your entire fault. I was seven. I had dreams about being a princess when I grew up, not a monster. Then your kind came and ruined everything. I just wish you didn't exist."

Her voice reached his ears, sounding soft and defeated. Her words made him cringe. It hurt, whether she knew it or not. But he understood what she was saying. When he had first been changed he perceived himself as a monster as well. He still did. But Maria had helped alleviate the pain. He hoped he could do the same for Alice when she was changed.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Alice lifted her face to look at him, rubbing the wetness off from under her nose with her sleeve. He had sounded so honest, and she suddenly felt guilty for snapping at him earlier. He was just as lost as she was. And at least he was friendly enough. His concern was slightly touching and it made her second guess her circumstances for the briefest moment.

She felt him pull his hand away from her back, bringing it to rest at his knee. His jaw was still tensed she noticed, and his body stance was stiff. She could tell that he was uncomfortable sitting beside her, like he was afraid of her, which was confusing. She wasn't the one with the instinct to kill.

"How old are you Jasper?" She rubbed at her swollen eyes and wiped her cheeks with her fingertips. _Might as well get to know him if I'll be living under the same roof as him,_ she thought to herself.

"Twenty." He sated simply. Her question was innocent, and it made him feel a little more relaxed sitting near her. _At least she's not attempting to push me away. _

Alice nodded at his response. She even offered him a small smile. Her smile grew slightly as she watched him smile back, his embarrassment clear when he turned to look away from her. She liked the way his lips had pulled up slightly more on one side than the other, reminding her of an awkward child.

Everything about him seemed awkward though. As if he wasn't entirely comfortable with himself. It was refreshing to know she wasn't the only one who felt awkward with who they were.

"Thank you Jasper," she randomly replied. She was glad that he wasn't pushing for information from her. He was a comfortable silence Alice didn't mind being in the presence of, which scared her but at the same time eased her mind. Maybe being his friend wouldn't suck.

Jaspers eyes widened more the usual at her remark. She felt… happy, in the smallest way, and it completely helped to lift Jasper's spirits. He couldn't even help the lazy smile that pulled at his lips. He liked feeling her happiness, even in it's smallest form, because it felt like an explosion inside his own body.

He stared at her through the corner of his eye, her face content for the time being. She was truly beautiful. Maybe not someone he would have first chosen at a quick glance, but when he really stopped to look at her, he could see the obvious beauty in her. Her hair was extremely dark and thick, cut short in the back, maybe just reaching the bottom of her neck when straight, and styled spiky. Her bangs came to her chin and were held back by two small green clips. Her eyes were hazel, not quite green and not quite brown. A pretty blend of them both but with a hint of yellow at the pupil. Her nose was small and came to a slight upward point and her mouth was small, her bottom lip slightly larger than her upper one. She was probably no taller than his shoulder, but her height was nice, fitting her appearance as a whole.

Yes, she was definitely beautiful in her own way, and Jasper found himself lucky enough to have her as his.

"Can you show me to my room? I think I could use a nap before I eat." She yawned as she spoke. She had been through a lot in the past hour; a nap would help clear her mind some.

Jasper nodded and stood up, holding his hand out for her to take. He watched as she stared at it for a moment. He could tell she was unsure of whether or not to take it. When she stood up on her own, she bowed her head in slight guilt.

"Sorry," she offered. She didn't mean to be disrespectful to him, but physical contact such as handholding was pushing it at the moment.

Jasper closed his fingers around air and let his fist fall to his side. He let his shoulders drop in rejection pulling at the edge of his dark blue t-shirt.

."It's okay Alice. I understand…"She could tell he was just saying it to reassure her.

She nodded in acceptance anyway and followed him up the stairs and into another section of the house.

They came to a halt outside of a door. Alice felt slight anxiety suddenly. She was unsure if taking a nap in a house full of vampires was really as good of an idea as she thought is was a moment ago. But when the door opened up and exposed a large room with two of its walls dedicated to just overly large floor to ceiling windows with a view of the mountains and forest just outside, she felt all of her fears become erased by admiration. There was a large four-post bed facing the windows. Its wood was dark, probably close to black, while its sheets were thick and soft looking, covering the bed in cream cotton and lace. There was matching dressers and vanity aligning the other walls, which were painted a soft French vanilla and a small chandelier with dangling crystals hung in the center of the slight dome like ceiling.

"Are all the rooms this beautiful? She asked in a happy shocked voice.

"They're all different. Esme loves interior designing. Although personally I think the chandelier is a bit much…" His voice faded out towards the end realizing he was probably offending her with his comment. He looked embarrassingly down at his black jeans that were slightly covering his blue and black checkered Vans sneakers. He noticed a whole starting to tear at the side of the shoe near his left big toe and used his right foot to rub at it slightly.

Alice just chuckled at his remark. "I guess… But hey, I'm not complaining. I've never had such a beautiful room before. I'm flattered she cared enough to do anything with it." She turned and patted Jasper's right arm gently. He was so easily embarrassed for no reason.

He grinned down at his feet at the slight show of affection, the warmth of her hand igniting his flesh. He cocked his head to the side and watched her face scan the room, his hand coming up to run through his hair. The action caught Alice's attention and she spun on her heels to face him fully, she looked like she was about to say something until her eyes suddenly became glued to the mop of hair onto of Jaspers head. Without even thinking about, she moved her hand forward and combed her own fingers through it, surprised by the soft texture of the curls.

Jasper's mind was reeling at the touch. His scalp burned under the light pressure and he shivered as her nails slightly dragged down to the nape of his neck. He could hear her pulse beating rapidly in his ears and the smell of her blood was agonizingly difficult to ignore suddenly, making venom fill his mouth. He blinked rapidly and attempted to control the moan that threatened to spill from his lips.

Alice felt her face heat up when finally she realized what she had been doing and quickly ripped her hand back. "I am such a twit, I'm sorry… I daze out and do these stupid things sometimes without thinking… Sorry…"

She couldn't believe she had allowed herself to get so carried away. It was her turn to now turn away embarrassed, her face bright with a blush. "You should go… I need to lay down."

Her dismissal made Jasper frown. One minute she had been practically petting him and now she was ready to throw him out the door. Her lack of control over her emotions was driving him mad.

Jasper muttered in reply, "Sure… Whatever." He could take a hint when someone didn't want him around anymore, so he left, her rejection following him out the door.

Just before he reached the bottom of the stairs he felt a wave of regret come from Alice's bedroom. He stopped his descent down the stair case in hopes that she was changing her mind and about to call out for him to stay.

Anger filled him though when she didn't show and he stomped past Esme in the kitchen shouting out, "I'm going out for a hunt. I'll be back later. Don't wait up."

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**_Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review please!! I love the feedback. Love to all - LL_**


	3. Gotta Figure This Out

**AN – **Hi everyone! Back with another chapter. I have to say, I am so happy over the amazing feedback so far! I'm trying really hard to keep not only your interest, but mine as well with this story. So please continue to review and express your ideas.

**Disclaimer- **I do not own Twilight – property of S. Meyer. I also don't own the lyrics I used from the song Masochist by Ingrid Michaelson. I do own the idea of this story. NO STEALING PLEASE.

**Music – **"Gotta Figure This Out" by Erin McCarley

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**Gotta** **Figure** **This** **Out**

It was nine o'clock at night when I finally woke up from my 'nap'. I was glad that I was left alone to sleep; the day had been more than dramatic enough for me to stand. But I could feel my stomach twisting, and the urge to eat overpowered my desire to stay wrapped up in the sheets.

I walked out into the immaculate hall and looked to both my left and right. The halls were empty and the silence that hummed in my ears told me the house was most likely empty as well. Although the idea of being able to move around the house freely without any interruption was exciting, it also scared me a little. Like the kind of fear you feel when your about to walk around the corner of a haunted house, the anticipation that something will jump out at you having your heart beat a mile a minute. I was in my own personal haunted house. Except the creepers that go bump in the night we actually real here, not some plastic mannequin with a wig on.

Bravely, I found myself walking down the long staircase and into a wide foyer. I had no idea where the kitchen was, but decided to try going through the entryway to my left to see where it brought me.

I felt like it was forever and a half before I finally caught sight of the object that had my stomach leaping for joy. The amazingly large, and brand new, fridge seemed to be glowing; calling me to eat whatever was inside of it. I answered that call with a delirious grin and hard tug of its handle. The glorious food that sat inside was like an answered prayer to the loud grumbling noises my stomach was making.

I found myself pulling out an assortment of items ranging from chocolate ice cream to peanut butter to pickles and bread. The spread of food would have looked disgusting to most, but I felt my mouth salivate at their sight, my brain fumbling over different meal ideas I could possibly make.

It took all of two minutes before I had a half decent sandwich made and a bowl of ice cream with chunks of peanut butter globbed on top. I took a seat at the island in the center of the extravagant kitchen and set to work on stuffing my face. I was wrapped up in my meal that I didn't even hear the footsteps approach me from behind.

"That is disgusting." I heard a deep voice say, the words dripping with horror. I turned in my seat and found a burley young man standing about a foot from my seat. His large eyes were staring at my spread of 'dinner', his handsome features pulled up into a nauseated look.

I felt my stomach turn a little after I noticed the same topaz eyes as the rest of the Cullens, and what he was suddenly become clearer than day. Great, **ANOTHER** vampire. When did they end?

"You would be?" I asked, my mouth full of my sandwich and bits of it flying out as I spoke.

"Ehhhcckkk. Keep your moth closed if your gonna eat that stuff." He threw a hand over his eyes dramatically at my atrocious manners. "And shouldn't I be the one asking who **YOU** are? This is my house ya know." He pulled his hand away and looked me up and down.

"I'm Alice Brandon. I'll be living here on a count of I have a debt to Mr. Cul… err Carlisle, I'm expected to pay off." My explanation was vague and I had a feeling he would have no clue what I was even talking about.

"… Huh… Well Alice Brandon, even though I have no idea what the fuck you just said, I really don't care. As long as you can toss a baseball, you're fine with me. Emmett by the way." He raised a hand out to me and waited expectantly for me to shake it, which I did with probably too much vigor.

I liked him already by the way he was so nonchalant with me. His presence frightened me as much as an overly stuffed toy bear would. I found that fact oddly strange; he was, from what i could tell, the largest one in the house . But he also seemed the most down to earth and 'human' out of them all so far.

"I can pitch a fairly decent game. I lived with a baseball junky for about five months way back when. He taught me a decent amount about the game."

His face broke out into a grotesquely adorable grin. He looked like a six year old who just made a friend on the first day of school. It was infectious though and I couldn't help but give out a short chuckle.

I hadn't expected him to grab me by the arm and all but drag me off the seat, and I was suddenly thrown off balance. I would have fallen if his grip around my arm didn't keep me tumbling down. "Excuse me, I was eating," I huffed.

"I know, you can bring that crap into the den, there's a game on and you're the first person who has enough interest to follow the whole thing without loosing it halfway through," was his reply.

He was obviously not about to let me get away with sitting in peace to finish my meal. And even though I hadn't said anything about actually enjoying baseball, I still followed him into the den. If it kept him from sucking the life out of me, then I wouldn't risk the chance of not doing it. So I grabbed my ice cream bowl and the last half of my sandwich and walked over to plop myself down next to him.

I listened intently as he explained the rest of the Cullen crew I would be sure to meet. Edward was apparently off at some Bella girl's house, a "human" like me as Emmet put it. That tidbit made me feel slightly more stable in my current situation. If there was another girl my age around, maybe the family really wasn't harmful. Although the girl was probably a little off her rocker if she was accepting of this whole vampire thing. I was still intrigued enough though to want to meet her. It would be nice having someone who didn't want to eat me around.

The he mentioned Rosalie, and that was it. He suddenly didn't shut up through the whole game, and though it was nice hearing him talk so enthusiastically about something, it was still a bit annoying. I grasped the basics on her; her being his 'wife', something about blonde hair, being the most gorgeous woman in the world, yada yada yada. It made no difference to me. As long as she kept her teeth to herself, there would be no problems.

I was almost finished with my 'desert' when Jasper walked into the room. Emmett was still chatting to my left, the volume on the flat screen in front of us turned down through some point. I could see his reflection in the TV, the only reason I knew he was there. I listened as hard as I could for footsteps as I watched his reflection move towards the couch, and was amazed when I didn't hear as much of a shuffle of clothing.

"Hey Jasper, this is Alice. Apparently she'll be staying here. Anyway, as I was saying Alice, she's got these legs that run on for miles…" Emmett's voice trailed off into the background and suddenly all I could hear was my own heartbeat resonating in my ears.

I slumped down into the soft brown leather of the couch and shoveled a spoonful of peanut butter and chocolate into my mouth. I could feel my face heating up, my memory replaying my embarrassing moment shared with him only a few hours ago.

"What's going on in here? Why are you sitting with him? And what **IS** that in that bowl in your hands?" Jasper was clearly not in a good mood after my earlier dismissal of him and I suddenly felt a pang of guilt spread through my chest.

I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings by being such a bitch, but it was my best defense after embarrassing myself the way I had.

Emmett went silent next to me and I could suddenly feel both of their eyes on me. I only managed to slump a little lower, hoping the couch would save me by swallowing me whole.

"I **WAS** listening to Emmett and watching the game with him before you so rudely interrupted us. And this," I said in just as angry of a tone and jutting my bowl above my head in a brave act to show him what was inside, "is called ice cream. It's cold and chocolaty and it makes me happy. Although you wouldn't understand that because your idea of good food is a dead animal!" I was furious with him. How **DARE** he come in and talk to me like I was some annoying thing ruining **HIS** life, instead of the other way around. And to think I actually considered him to be sympathetic.

Pushing myself off of the couch, I started for the kitchen to put my bowl in the sink. Emmett's face was quite comical as he watched the dramatic show Jasper and I were putting on in front of him. I was practically counting down the seconds to when he would break and laugh hysterically.

Snubbing past Jasper, I stared straight ahead and pretended to ignore his body as I passed him. I say pretend because I did anything BUT. Inside I was heating up and it made me sick to my stomach to know it wasn't because of how angry I was with him, but rather how unfairly good looking he was standing there with his full lips turned down into a childish pout and his eyes narrowed in the slightest way, his arms arrogantly folded over his toned chest. Somehow I had managed to walk past him and into the kitchen without melting into a puddle and I was glad I had still managed to keep my face emotionless to him.

But as he followed me into the kitchen and to the sink, I felt my "ignore him" walls crumble. I spun on my heels and stared up at him. "Can I help you with something? Or do I need permission from you to clean this bowl?" My sarcasm had me internally giving myself a pat on the back. Alice Brandon was not going to back down to the likes of Jasper Hale.

He rolled his eyes at me and backed off half a foot to give me more room to wash my dirty dishes.

"I thought you said you needed to sleep." He hadn't said the words in a question form, rather made them into a statement.

So that's what this was all about. I turned my back to him and turned on the water and began to suds up the dishes. "Stop acting like a baby Jasper. I did sleep. In fact I slept longer than I intended to. So when I woke up, I came down to eat."

His body shifted behind me and I could see him move to lean against the counter next to me. He still had a pout on his mouth and his arms were still wrapped across his chest. "If you were hungry, you should have come to look for me. I would have made you something more substantial than ice cream."

"I though the house was empty. And I am more than capable of making myself food when I'm hungry. I'm seventeen." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He was making a big deal out of nothing.

"You obviously knew you weren't alone. You were sitting there with Emmet. Rosalie would have ripped your head off if she walked in and saw that." He was making up stupid excuses and it was frustrating me even further.

I turned the water off and began drying the dishes off with a towel. "Your not Rosalie and you practically bit my head off."

He finally unfolded his arms and, instead, took to gripping the marble countertop. "I did not almost bite your head off. I just don't get why you can so calmly sit there with him and eat when you can barely stand to be around me." He looked so let down and it made my chest tighten.

I looked down at the towel in my hand, I couldn't hold myself responsible for making him upset. "Jasper… Things aren't going to be normal between us. Ever. Your parents expect me to give my life up for you, not Emmet. You're the one ruining things for me… Not him." As much as I meant the words, it still didn't lessen the pain I felt for saying them to him. Just because it hadn't been his idea to change me, didn't mean he wasn't responsible. He hadn't done nor said anything to even attempt to change Carlisle's mind.

He turned his face to stare at the wall to the right of him, obviously hurt by what I had admitted to him. "I can still make you happy, but you have to let me into your life Alice. You can't just ignore me and think that it'll change your fate. Isolating yourself from me now will only make you more miserable later. The least we can do is attempt to be friends with each other. I don't think that's asking a lot."

After placing the towel down on the counter, I turned and walked to the other side of the kitchen where the door that led to the porch was. I opened it up and walked out into the cold night air. For some reason the moon looked twice as big as it normally did, and I noticed how the stars seemed to cover the whole sky. He had followed me out and closed the door behind him. I felt him throw a blanket over my shoulders and watched as he lay down onto the wooden floor to stare up at the sky. I allowed myself sit down next to him and placed the blanket over my lap so that I could throw some of it over his body as well.

"If things were under different circumstances, maybe we could have made it work somehow. But as it is now, I don't see how I could be happy after everything's all said and done…"

I didn't get to finish speaking before he interrupted me, "You mean things would be different if I weren't a vampire." He scoffed at me and threw his portion of the blanket off of himself, sitting up and glaring at the trees ahead of us.

"I can try and be your friend Jasper, but that's all I can offer you right now."

"Try." He said the word with venom, like he didn't believe in me to give him a shot.

My heart was breaking in my chest and I couldn't understand anything anymore. I had known of his existence for little over half a day, and yet I was feeling distraught over him feeling rejected by me. I couldn't explain the tug-of-war that was going on inside me. It didn't make sense even to myself.

"Please stop sounding so hurt. I'm not trying to upset you... God Jasper! It's just not fare. I shouldn't be the one feeling like the bad guy." I traced my index finger over the scar on my wrist. "Everything in my past has taught me not to trust what you are. I feel like I'm betraying my mother by just sitting here with you. I'm offering you more than I should. Realistically, I should have ran off or called the cops by now." A headache was forming in my temples and I couldn't restrain myself from attempting to rub it out.

"We aren't like Laurent. He'd been drinking human blood for so long… You don't understand what it does to us. You lose all control over yourself. I'm not giving him an excuse for what he did to you and your mother. But I can sympathize with him. There was a time where I was just as lost for control over myself as he was. I was lucky enough to find the Cullen's. They put a lot of faith into me to change my ways, and if it weren't for them, God only knows where I would be or what would have come of me. I will never go back to being who I was. My control has become much stronger. I just wish you could see the difference between Laurent… and me."

My heart went out to him and the urge to hold his hand over took me, so I reached out and entwined our fingers together. My heart was in my throat and I could hear it pumping in my ears again. His cold thumb was gently tracing over my skin and it caused a blush to catch fire to my cheeks at the sensation of the innocent act.

"Your skin feels… like no one else's." He breathily whispered, catching my gaze and holding it with his own. His gaze, like his touch, was soft and it made my throat tighten.

"I don't quite understand what you mean by that. It's just a hand," I managed to get out, my voice sounding so small to my ears.

"It's just different somehow… It's… Nothing… You wouldn't get it." He broke eye contact with me and instead took to staring down at our hands. "It's not so bad… Right?"

I raised an eyebrow to him.

"Holding my hand?" His grip around my fingers tightened for a brief second as if to remind me where my hand was.

"No." I simply stated. It wasn't bad at all. In fact I felt silly for my earlier dismissal of his hand when he was just being polite and offering to help me up. It was surprising, actually, because it felt quite natural.

His mouth broke out into a smile at my answer. I marveled at the way it seemed to light up his face, the deep dimples in his cheeks making the act all the more adorable. But no matter how gorgeous and happy he looked, I couldn't find it in myself to smile back. I was too absorbed in the feeling of my heart bursting between my ribcage.

"I can feel your emotions ten times stronger like this." He squeezed my hand again. "It's overwhelming in a way." He chuckled softly and I think I felt my heart explode for a second time at the amazing sound. "God I haven't felt anything like this before in my life. I wish I could explain it to you…"

But he didn't have to because it was evident in the way he looked at me. I could see his pupils dilating in pleasure and it made me shiver. He looked so euphoric as he spoke to me and I felt slightly envious of his ability.

"So does this make us friends now?" he asked me hopefully.

I couldn't deny him his request. "Friends."

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**Yay for Jasper and Alice's new friendship. Haha. Hope it was enjoyable for you all to read. Hopefully I'll hear some more feedback from everyone! I love all the encouraging words =). Love to all - LL**


	4. author note

Hello again everyone!

Soo sorry for the super long delay in both stories!

I have been having one of the worst summers ever and have barely had any time to do any thing for myself, let alone finish my stories. I've been working two jobs as well as a few babysitting jobs since school has ended and have just been really stressed. School is starting next week for me and therefore work will be on the back burner for a while.

I understand that I have left you all at such a climax but I do promise to have a few chapters out most likely by the end of the month/beginning of October. I hope I haven't lost any readers because of my lack of writing! I do, once again, apologize for the over dramatic delay!

If you have any questions, concerns, comments, or anything, please feel free to either e-mail me (message me for the e-mail if you can't see it on my page) or message me on fanfiction. I love you all soo much and if it weren't for you I would have no reason to write. Thank you for all your love and faithfulness! See you all soon =]

Love to all - LL


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